The Dhurka Family

Autism, A Family's Story
By Archana Dhurka

I still remember the day I walked out of the neurologist’s office hearing the word Autism. I kept thinking why I have not been given a prescription yet? This is how ignorant I was about Autism. Now Autism has not just changed my son's life but my life, our family, and all those that love us.

I am not Jenny McCarthy but when I was reading her book, I thought I was reading a story that someone wrote about my life, about our life. The similarities are amazing. So many things that she has experienced with her son, I have experienced with mine as well. From the pain, the tears, the fear, the marital conflicts, the desperation, the signs and symptoms of our children’s autism.

When Ankush was first diagnosed, 7 years ago, I still remember how hard it was for our family to take him out to social events. But in this journey in 7 years, he has made tremendous progress. We now take him to birthday parties, friends' homes, walks, to the mall, to the store, to restaurants- pretty much everywhere. I even was adventurous enough to take him on 2 long trips abroad. One of the trips involved a 20 hour plane ride! He is able to handle all this very well but more than that, I don’t care as much as I did when people give me looks when he is stimming.

We love our family time- going to restaurants, going on walks, looking at the birds, going for haircut, going for a movie or going to the sensory gym. I love it when my son comes in and crawls in my bed in the morning. I look forward to it every weekend! When he tells me "don’t sing", "be quiet" , "don’t want to work" or "can't sleep anymore" I get so excited that he is interacting with me- That is Autism- joy of hearing your kid talk.

Every now and then, both my boys start playing together... it's rare, but heartwarming when it happens. The other night, Aayush reached out to Ankush and initiated catch and chase. Now every night after bath, they jump on my bed together. Parents with typical kids might not let their kids do this but I look forward to such interactions and happy moments.

Autism has made me a patient and a caring person. I reach out to other parents that need help which I probably wouldn’t have if not for Autism. This journey can be very long and painful but I have realized that I have to take it day by day and enjoy the little things that God is giving us.

Much love,
Archana Dhurka
A proud mom to Ankush, 9 years old